The shoes I wore on my 13.9km run today:The Fuel that powered the run:
Today I felt tight, quick heartbeats in my chest. I felt like the muscles surrounding my ribcage were contracted and pushing in on those ribs. I literally felt like my heart was caged. It was not a good feeling. I’m not new to anxiety, or to stress, it’s sort of a part of being a student. With the volunteer job I’ve taken on this year I have a little more stress in my life. It can be hard to eat well, exercise, do my homework (well!), go out, be with friends and still find time to relax and find time for me.
Today I felt trapped and shut in. I needed to do homework. I needed to get sports teams organized. They had to get done. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Busy. Busy. Busy. Thoughts just ran through my head in a horrible loop, my mind was overcrowded. I didn’t think I should go for a run or anything till it was all done. I kept telling myself to just wait for monday for a run. Then after lunch, I looked outside, and saw the sun in the trees, and I had to get out. I ran down to the beach, then back, and it felt great During the run the tightness loosened, and the thoughts cleared.
I just felt so much more focused and loose, but controled after my run. It was exactly what my day needed to be balanced.
This brings me to one of the goals I’d like to acheive using this blog: living a healthy balanced life. I’ll admit that sometimes when I go for a run, or exercise, that is my ‘me time’ probably because Idon’t consider it torturous or hard and I am an independent exerciser. To help me find balance with exercise thisyear though, I’ve started taking a yoga class, as well as myusual cardio. I used to LOATH yoga, I couldn’t stand the “no thinking”, and the lack of sweating (how little I knew!) and just always feeling like I wasn’t-going-anywhere. Now? Now I love the feeling of stillness. The way my body feels open and clear when I finish a class.
For eating, I’ll continue on the path I’ve started. I like my eating habits at the moment. They aren’t perfect (hmmm, coffee, sugar, chocolate, and the occasional drink) but neither am I. I eat probably 80/20 which works for me. I spent too many year guilt tripping myself about food; I want some years of enjoying my food.
For school and work, I plan to just do it. Yep. Procrastination be gone, I’m going to do my best to just get done what needs to be done. Most of my classes are interesting (yay upper level electives!) so it shouldn’t be too hard to study and learn about the stuff I like.